Severe withdrawal

Picture this without experiencing psychosomatic affects. I dare you.

You go out of town. You're not on vacation and have work to do. You find yourself at a hotel/motel/condo without Internet access. Yes, there is a phone, and you have your laptop, but you cannot find a local dial-up number. The telephone does not allow you to make long-distance calls. There are no AOL discs or 800 numbers of any kind. You have a password to connect to your spouse's dial-up iPass account. However, spouse's employer recently changed dial-up providers without letting anyone know.

Are you sweating yet? Do you feel the pangs of Withdrawlia working its way through your system?

The most common side effects with Withdrawlia include:

• excessive fidgeting
• the shakes
• paranoia

It's not common, but Withdrawlia can cause a serious condition that stimulates an uncontrollable desire to blog. If the desire that lasts longer than 48 hours, seek immediate medical attention. Some people experience vision changes while experiencing Withdrawlia. Most common are either a blue tinge to objects or trouble telling the difference between blue and green. If any of these side effects become bothersome, or any other unexpected effects occur, be sure to contact a doctor. Other less common side affects include nausea, dry mouth, and vomiting.

To end the discomfort associated with Withdrawlia, find Internet access and blog immediately. But beware, regaining Internet after this kind of dry spell will be overwhelming. There are 982 unread posts in my "favorites" feed. I'm not even sure where to begin.