So I'm not the only one brave enough to admit it out loud: pregnancy might be an easy out to the parenting-career dilemma.
Bethany was brave enough to admit it--although not to her hubby, apparently. She had contemplated getting pregnant again so that she could get out of her office-job routine. I know that when I was in a rut at my corporate job way back when, I also thought getting pregnant would be a good escape route. And that's how I've been feeling recently too, especially with so many women around me bubbling over with hormones and budding bellies.
I know that getting a jump on the next baby just because I haven't found the perfect paying job that compliments my primary job as parent, Numero Uno, is not a road I want to take. I feel grateful that I didn't take that route the first time around. That we waited and decided until it was the right time. It was not a substitute for a part of my life that wasn't working. And it won't be this time around either, whenever it is that we decide--whatever it is we decide--about adding an extra branch onto the family tree.
But sometimes when I'm feeling down (and I'm surrounded by happy, bloated, large-breasted, albeit somewhat nauseous, glowing, pregnant friends), it seems like a good option.
Getting pregnant doesn't solve problems. It doesn't fill voids. It can't make me forget about wanting a career. The only thing it would do is shift things around a bit, push them to the background for a bit. Voids will still be there. Desires to have another degree will still be there. Hopes of finding the perfect job will still be there.
I guess I try to be comforted by something Paramedic Friend told me during a Moms' Night Out event last year. Even if you wait until you're 40 to get back into a career, you'll have more than 20 years to contribute professionally and to feel accomplished. It's just hard not to wonder how people pull that off with such vast gaps on their resumes.
I just gotta say regardless of the reason for you getting pregnant, that at the other end this amazing new person will be in your life, your hubby's and your baby's. And it almost seems irrelevant the reason to begin with. At least in my mind. But then it's nearly 2AM and i'm not thinking straight. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love what your Paramedic Friend told you. I was in a similar situation -- trying to decide whether to restart my career (only a brief lull due to a move to a new state) or have another child. Well, I'm pregnant -- and NOW the places I want to work are calling me for interviews. I have no idea what I will do, go back to work or take a few years off, but like you, I wonder if anyone will still want to hire me after I've been out of my field for three to five years....Tough decisions, all around. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteOh that void in my resume. That one that will soon be going on 5 years - yikes! It's depressing to think that when I do go back to work, years from now, I'll have to take some classes to catch up on the technology and even then I'll be starting from the bottom unless I can find something through "connections"... but even then, the thought of changing gears like that, after so many years, is scary! So yeah, a tough decision indeed.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to agree with swamps... babies bring such joy. For me anyway, it's the sort of happiness and fulfillment I never really felt with my career.